One-eyed Nick’s a total prick

See you next Tuesday

A gay couple has been awarded damages after being turned away from a bed and breakfast where they were booked to stay for the night. The Christian B&B owners refused to let them stay in a double bed together, and said, “We believe a person should be free to act upon their sincere beliefs about marriage under their own roof”.

To be fair to the B&B owners, they refused to let unmarried heterosexual couples stay together as well. However, all this means is they discriminate equally. The issue here is that the B&B owners roof is not just theirs anymore. As soon as those bedrooms are sold for the night, the proprietors lose their say over who stays there. You don’t like those who want to pay for your services? Don’t offer them.

I don’t believe that religion should take precedence over sexuality. One can decide on Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Voodoo, Paganism or anyone of the myriad of religious belief systems. All are stories, all teach values and none are more valid than any other. However, no one chooses who they love. Religion is a choice, sexual preference is not.

Nick Griffin has decided to lend his typically lop-sided view on events, tweeting about the supposed ‘heterophobia’ of the decision. He then went on to tweet the address of the quiet, unassuming couple. He said “A British justice team will come & give you a bit of drama by way of reminding you that an English couple’s home is their castle”.

We all know that Nick Griffin is a witless thundercunt. He has no right to incite “drama” (i.e. violence) against an elderly couple, no matter what their views. He proposes dealing with their supposed intolerance of heterosexuals with yet more intolerance. As of 22:20 on October 18th, his Twitter account has been suspended, and rightly so.

I am a young white straight British male. My life is simple. I will never be turned down for a job based on my age. I will never be racially discriminated against. No-one will ever mock my sexuality. I speak the native language of my country. I will never experience a glass ceiling due to not having a penis. My life is easy.

For anyone who doesn’t fall into that bucket of convenience, they will endure various levels of unfairness. Nick Griffin, Y Gribin, Llanerfyl, Y Trallwng, Welshpool, SY21 0JQ, believes that he has the right to exacerbate that. Wouldn’t it be a shame if someone went and showed that subhuman fucktard a bit of drama at his house?

Eton Style

Serbian monkey chants “not racist”

The Serbian FA has denied that there were “any occurrences of racism” during their U21 match against England:

They’re monkey chants, aimed at black men. THAT’S RACISM, ASSHATS. Serbia have prior form, and should be banned from tournament football. UEFA and FIFA pussyfoot around the issue and the issue never goes away. It is abhorrent that in this day and age, young men can’t go and play football in a foreign country without being abused for the colour of their skin. Serbia – fuck off, and drag your sorry football fans into the present day and age. Until then, play with yourselves. Wankers.

High pressure front

High pressure in the west

In other news

-Wet wetson.

Nic Cage’s head.

-Sore fingers. OOH ER.

Hot Chip tomorrow, wooooop!

Everything spins.


‘Legitimate’ idiots

Akin, Galloway: powerful men, weak minds

Hands up if you’re a fucking asshat

Todd Akin is standing for election to the US Senate. Todd Akin is looking to become one of the most powerful men in America. Todd Akin believes that women can stop themselves from becoming pregnant if they have been raped. Seriously:

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” This is what Akin says. Excuse me?

Firstly, “legitimate rape”? No, no, no. Rape is rape is rape (more on that in a second). Secondly, how fucking stupid is Akin? “The female body has was to try to shut that whole thing down” is one of the single most idiotic things that I have ever heard anyone say. I assume by “that whole thing” Akin means pregnancy. No female can choose if she becomes pregnant, and whilst there has long been a theory that rape trauma can stop pregnancy, there was also a theory once that stated the world is flat. Both are total bollocks.

Lastly, answering whether abortion in the case of rape should be legal, Akin states that the punishment should be on the rapist, and not the innocent child. I wonder how Akin feels about the victim? Carrying a rapist’s child for nine months, interrupting her life to raise it, having to see a living, breathing relic of your attacker daily? Akin seems unable to acknowledge that suffering, only able to recognise the sanctity of the unborn child.

The trauma involved for any rape victim is more than I can comprehend, and Akin seems to be in the same boat. But for crying out loud, don’t weigh into the debate unless you are informed and prepared to talk sense. Women’s bodies shutting down pregnancy is about as nonsensical as it gets.

Talking of nonsense, fucking George Galloway is full of it. Speaking about the Julian Assange affair, and the sexual charges against him, Galloway says the worst Assange is guilty of is “bad sexual etiquette”. Furthermore, Galloway said that “not everybody needs to be asked prior to each insertion”.

WHAT?! Etiquette? Holy fuckery. If Galloway is right then there would be carnage. “Yeah, I know we last had sex a few days ago, and you may consider it poor form, but I’m going to whack it up you anyway”. As above, rape is rape is rape.

Both men have sought to clarify their comments after furore erupted. Both men remain more powerful than their intellects deserve. Both men should go sit in a darkened room, eat some rocks and shut their ignorant cakeholes.


Via Mark:

Anne Hathaway to star in spin-off “The Dark Mrs Pac-Man”

The Newsroom

Really enjoying this on Sky Atlantic. It’ll get cancelled like Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, because it’s too clever, but the one season will be a keeper. And Olivia Munn is fiiiit.

Drunk high jumper

This guy won the gold at London 2012. A couple of years ago, he got lashed before a competition after a row with his missus, hence this:

In other news

-Thailand Friday. Sha-ting!

-“I’ll be waiting with bells on, you old horse-banging skank”.

-No dinner shocker.

This is a total tune:

It’s pronounced dive, thank me later.


London 2012 – a bit of alright

YMCA is a popular dance with gold medal winners

29 – 17 – 19. An inconspicuous number, yet one that represents two incredible weeks of competition, pride and achievement. 29 gold, 17 silver and 19 bronze medals were won by Team GB in the Games of the 30th Olympiad. London 2012 was at once glorious, unbelievable and sublime.

On the day of the opening ceremony, there was scepticism, with reason. Were we prepared for the influx of athletes and foreign fans? Was the security going to hold firm? Would the home team be able to live up to the expectation? The naysayers and doubters are silenced.

The opening ceremony blew all expectations out of the water. Yes, it was disjointed, yes, parts would have made no sense to global onlookers, yes, it cost 0.8 Andy Carrolls. But Danny Boyle should be rightly proud of what he achieved. A summation of what makes Great Britain great. A tribute to our influence on the world, with all the perspective and class you could ever wish for.

Once the games began, there were a myriad of poignant stories from British athletes. Sir Chris Hoy, Jess Ennis, (Sir) Bradley Wiggins, Tom Daley, Andy Murray, Ben Ainslie, Joanna Rowsell, Laura Trott, Mo Farah… on and on and on. Not for a century have so many achieved so much.

Lest we forget the international superstars. Usain Bolt, David Rudisha, Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, Chad Le Clos, Michael Phelps, Oscar Pistorius… with the most in-depth and comprehensive coverage ever, this games will make superstars of so many.

Without wanting to cheapen the achievements of these superhumans, there was an inevitability about what they did. When you gather the best of the best, there will be fireworks. The applause has been directed at them, but there are others who are just as deserving – the volunteers.

Ably aided by the Army, the 70,000 Games Makers gave their time to make this games a success and were a joy. With a smile for everyone and a dedication that paid workers could take note of, the volunteers were the nuts and bolts of a beautiful machine.

I may never see an Olympic Games in Britain again. But I, like millions others, am proud and privileged to have been in London in 2012. What a land of hope and glory.

In other news

-New job, oh yeah.

-Lidl party time.

-Closing ceremony has Madness in. Oh well, we couldn’t get it all spot on.

Big fan of this:

No pressure.

UEFA out of touch? Nah, I don’t believe you

Don’t Bendt the rules

Bendtner – best Irishman at Euro 2012

Euro 2012 has been a superb tournament so far. The games have been great, some classic goalscoring, and England are looking like a team that might be beaten by a better team, rather than themselves. Not wanting to let the party go unspoiled though, UEFA have again shown all and sundry that they are a prehistoric gang of powertwats.

As pictured above, Nicklas Bendtner celebrated scoring a goal by revealing a pair of Paddy Power pants. For this, he has been fined £80,000 and banned for a UEFA match. Croatia, meanwhile, have been fined just £65,000 for their fans’ racist abuse of Mario Balotelli. It was estimated that up to 500 fans were involved – that’s £130 per fan.

There’s obviously a massive disparity here, with Bendtner getting the shitty end of the stick and Croatia deserving of a far greater punishment. But the logic behind the rulings is symptomatic of football today. While UEFA are failing to deal with racism, they guard their commercial opportunities like Vanessa Feltz protects biscuits.

A good few years ago, I was lucky enough to get a guided tour of the Philips Stadion, PSV’s home ground, on a football tour. One of the few things I still remember is that EVERYTHING in the stadium, from doors to loo seats, has a Philips logo on it. And for UEFA sanctioned matches (Champions League, Europa League etc) every single one has to be covered, due the UEFA’s sponsorship deal with Sony.

It doesn’t take much to understand where UEFA’s priorities lie. Another example is their hounding of sites like the excellent I won’t go into too much detail, as the site has already published a fine rebuttal here. If they pursued racism with the same vigour, maybe the problem would be a lot less of an issue.

But the fact of the matter is, football is a product, packaged and sold to a variety of buyers. In UEFA’s eyes, racism obviously doesn’t threaten the commodity enough to be dealt with. To borrow a phrase from Vincent Kompany, ‘opportunistic commercialism’ does.

I would like to see the following sanctions for racist behaviour. £1m fine, one game behind closed doors, and captain and manager of the team banned for that match. Doubled/tripled as necessary for repeat offenders. Yes it’s harsh, but paltry fines here and there are obviously no deterrent.

Aside from the monkeys running the zoo, this tournament has been a treat. It’s a shame that despite the festival of football, the suits are making the news. But until they have a radical shake-up of their disciplinary procedures, that is unfortunately going to be the case.


This summer, we are spoilt:


David Cameron has come in for a fuckload of flak since becoming Prime Minister, but his confrontation of Argentine President Cristina Fernandez at the G20 summit was great political posturing. And I totally agree with the point he was making regarding the Falklands. For all of the President’s foot stomping and charged rhetoric, she continues to ignore the most important part of this whole saga – the people. The Islanders will hold a referendum on their wishes, and regardless of the outcome, both nations should respect the result. Malvinas or Falklands, the people will speak, and they should be heard. The question is, will President Fernandez choose to listen?

Love this

Yoda Ono

In other news

-Apologies for my absence, if you noticed.

-My rib hurts more than fire-eating with your arse.

I am Zlatan.

Bloody great song by Girls:

Come on, come on, come on, come on and dance with me.

Woman’s Right To Choose?

As per usual, rich white men know best

Abortion, no. Death penalty, WAHEY!

Texas has implemented a law entitled “Woman’s Right to Know“. Know what, I hear you ask? Know that they are intelligent human beings, capable of making their own decisions? Apparently not. WRtK forces a woman to see a sonogram of their unborn child, or hear it’s heartbeat, before she can have an abortion. The doctor performing the abortion also has to describe the foetus to the woman and then she has to wait 24 hours before the procedure. Just to mull it over.

This is, quite frankly, fucked up. I made a few sandwich jokes around International Woman’s Day, but fundamentally, men and women are equal. But just because women carry the burden of having to give birth to children, Texas is shaming and degrading them in the hope they change their mind into keeping their child.

The law is highly controversial, and the comic Doonesbury has been pulled from some publications due to its forthright tackling of the issue. Law it is though, and daily woman are being subjected to what amounts to state-sponsored torture.

The decision to terminate a child must be one of, if not THE hardest, a woman in that situation ever has to make. All this law does is make it significantly harder. Will the lawmakers in Texas pass a statute offering free psychological help to those women who have had to make this unimaginable choice? Will they fuck.

The thought process behind this new law beggars belief. I would postulate that in 90% of cases, probably more, the abortion is in the best interests of both mother and child. What if the woman is an addict, and the child would be brought into that environment? Or if the mother is young, poor, and simply can’t afford to raise a child? How about this horrific case, where the child would be severely handicapped and the mother is engaging in an act of mercy?

In a state such as Texas too. A state with 313 people on death row. They clearly don’t value life that highly!

I believe that in the vast majority of cases, abortion is used by women responsibly and as a last resort. And whatever the circumstances, it is certainly not my place to cast aspersions on them. The choice to terminate a pregnancy must be made as simple and easy as possible, and the Texan law WRtK is a deplorable violation of a woman’s rights. So much for the Land of the Free.

Tron dance troupe

I’m not usually one for synchronised dancing. Dancing is a bit rubbish, and when I do it I look like a 12 year old being tasered directly on the scrotum. This, however, is very cool:

Bunny bye bye

This cute little fellow, Til, was born in Germany a few weeks ago:


The sharp-eyed among you will notice that Til has no ears. And this made him a minor celebrity, until a cameraman trod on him. Please, stop for a few seconds, and think for a moment about what may have been for this special little bunny. RIP Til.

More cuteness

Sorry about this, trying to balance out the abortion horror:


In other news

-This footballer has the best name ever.

Dark Shadows looks pretty decent.

-Early mornings are productive, who’d’ve thunk it?

Watch The Throne is immense:

The night is young, what the fuck you wanna do?

GSOH completely absent

Incredibly misguided complaint

FC Porto's Hulk

Football takes itself too seriously at times. Players treated like deities complain they’re actually treated like dogs. Managers storm out of press conferences when someone has the audacity to ask a question. Rivalries which flair twice a season are given the same coverage as a small war.

Yet in all the years I have followed football, I struggle to recall an incident at which I’m more incredulous. In Wednesday’s Manchester City v FC Porto game, Porto had a player called Hulk. The City fans mocked him with the tame, witty chant “You’re not incredible”. That’s funny! Unless you are FC Porto.

Rui Cerqueira, the Porto spokesman, has indicated that the incident will be reported to UEFA on the grounds that the City support acted in an unacceptable way. Apart from demonstrating a total lack of perspective, it’s ironic because in the home leg, Porto’s fans were heard chanting racial abuse – specifically monkey chants. Porto are amazed that this has caused offence, and have sought to deny it. City’s Sergio Agüero has the nickname ‘Kun’ and Cerqueira claimed that the City fans were chanting Kun, Kun, Kun. That’s faintly plausible, except that Aguero wasn’t on the pitch at the time.

Cerqueira and his employers need to have a look in the mirror. Funny chanting is good. One of the best I know of is the chant that fans directed at Andy Goram after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia – “two Andy Gorams, there’s only two Andy Gorams”. Wit is welcome, racial prejudice isn’t. So before Porto whine like spoilt children about others, maybe they should get their own house in order. On a positive note, City won 6-1 on aggregate, which I would say is karma.

Incredible hoops

Moon penis

Via my faraway friend dvdhth:

Still wouldn't satisfy Jordan


…is a brilliant weekly celeb newsletter that takes a light, jocular look at our culture. Explore it, and sign up here. Why so good? Because it gets Danny Dyer to talk about a baboon v badger fight:

In other news

Extraordinary Google street views.

-Great soup.

Imagine if you were the only fan at the game…

This is a simple, beautiful record:

Faithful and true.

Argy Bargy

Falking madness

Either a tiny ship or a monster sheep

It is fast approaching 30 years since the last Falklands conflict. 907 people died during the fierce conflict, and since then, an uneasy truce has existed between Britain and Argentina. Thankfully, the only battles that have transpired in the interim have involved 22 men, a ball and unhealthy amounts of nationalistic vitriol.

Worryingly though, the tensions surrounding the issue of sovereignty of Las Malvinas/the Falkland Islands have been rising again. The posting of Prince William to the region has led Argentina to claim that Britain is militarising the region. How a horsey posh boy signals that I’m unsure. Argentina has responded by imposing restrictions on shipping in the area, with Argentine unions boycotting the ships of “British pirates”. The 2,500 islanders are becoming increasingly isolated, and the leaders of the respective nations increasingly agitated.

Meanwhile, as if the situation wasn’t ridiculous enough, Sean Penn has got involved. Yes, that Hollywood guy who has absolutely no perspective on the situation or historical context whatsoever. “I think that the world today is not going to tolerate any kind of ludicrous and archaic commitment to colonialist ideology,” said the democratically elected leader rat faced twat, speaking after a meeting with Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner. Seriously, Sean – you’ve made some good films (The Assassination Of Richard Nixon being my personal favourite) but go play in traffic.

The Argentinian FA is going to get a talking to, after proposing to rename their domestic football league to the Crucero General Belgrano First Division. The Belgrano was an Argentine cruiser that was sunk in the conflict with the loss of 323 lives. Is it really necessary to cheapen that sacrifice by attaching the name of the ship to a sports league, like a sponsor?

Now, I should admit some bias – my Dad has been to the Falklands twice and was in the British Forces. Even for me, it is easy to see the Argentine point of view. The Islands are some 8,000 miles from the UK, and 289 from Argentina. Our interest is historic, but also fuelled by the potential oil fields located in the waters around them.

It is the islanders who suffer. Not having enough eggs for example. This would hurt them, not that they are reliant on eggs for their diet. They are a tough cohort who pride themselves on how many generations of their family have lived on the Islands. In this clip on Newsnight, the one thing that is apparent, aside from Paxman’s ability to make everyone look foolish, is the intense spirit of independence that embellishes Assembly Member Dick Sawle’s perspective. The Islands are rocky, barren, and generally inhospitable, but their occupants work hard to ensure their survival. It is not by chance that the flag of the Falklands carries the motto ‘desire the right’. It is also telling that the local describes Argentina’s actions in 1982 as an invasion.

In all honesty, I feel that both Britain and Argentina’s claims to the Islands are valid. Therefore, the islanders right of self-determination comes to the fore. Until the day that they decide to be Argentine, they shall be British. Not a Prince, a football league nor Sean fucking Penn can do anything about that.

Front flip

Quite cool:


Good wolf


In other news

-Squash won.

-Soup good.

-Berlin booked.

LCD Soundsystem – got there late, love them:

Where are your friends tonight?