Gobama

4 more years, yeah? And get me a sandwich too.

New Yorkers at Ground Zero celebrate Bin Laden's death

Crikey. What a news weekend. After the good time feeling of the Royal Wedding (including this extraordinary picture the Beeb cobbled together), it seemed that nothing could possibly knock it off the front pages. It was the biggest media event since 9/11, until the orchestrator was got. Gee whizz.

Osama bin Laden is dead, announced to the world by Barack Obama. A while ago, I wrote that he may never be able to live up to the euphoric wave that swept him into the White House, that he was doing well but hadn’t hit a home run. Well, I was wrong. He just won EVERYTHING. If he doesn’t get 4 more years now, he’ll have seriously messed up. Like epic fail squared.

He’d already had a good weekend. This came from my good buddy, Dave, and shows Obama pretty much fisting Donald Trump:

Of course, whilst one event is historic and another fucking hilarious, neither job is over. Al-Qaeda will still plot attacks on the West, and the Republican Party, either with Trump or Sarah Palin, will still look to oust Obama in 2012. But he looks surer, stronger, and more presidential than ever before, and that can only be a good thing.

A few asides. The difference between the coverage on 9/11 and now is an illustration of how reporting the news has changed. Back then, the large networks dominated the breaking news, with only a few contributions from onlookers. With bin Laden’s death, an IT Consultant live blogged the whole event, unknowingly. It’s frankly amazing. Also, this interview with bin Laden from 1999 is remarkable, especially given the events of the next decade or so. And finally, THE most Freudian of Freudian slips:

Sarah Palin literally creamed herself seeing this

Copulate thyself

Via munkeymomo:

Even better than Cee Lo

CHUNKY

Fancy

This site is awesome. It is a design led tumblresque feed, constantly updated with cool stuff. I can’t get enough of it. This Steve Jobs iPhone case is brilliant:

"Dammit Bill, I'm not coming to Microsoft"

In other news

-Back to work, boo.

-Excited as fuck for Glasto. WOOP!

-We are NOT going down.

Am liking this a lot:

I won’t quit, ’cause I want more. Ta-ra.

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No shit Trumpballs

Well, duh

Note - Place of Birth is Honolulu and not Hades

Barack Obama has released details of his birth, namely his full birth certificate. This was necessary given continued speculation in America that he was not born in the US (the birthers believed he was born in Kenya, or Hell – really) or that, in the words of thunderdouche Donald Trump, “there’s something on that birth certificate that he doesn’t like”.

Trump is considering standing for the presidency in 2012. While he would have to defeat the ever-popular Sarah Palin for the Republican Party nomination, it’s not an impossibility that he could be president. After all, America loves the rich white man.

The problem is that neither Trump or Palin have any experience whatsoever, and seem to think that the size of ego and not intellect qualifies one for the White House. Seriously, Trump’s head is so big his hairpiece is now the second man made object visible from space. Watch this:

He’s “really honoured and really proud”. You got a man to casually waft a piece of paper, Trump. Woo fucking hoo. I really hope Obama gets his shit together and batters Palinosaur/Trumpballs to secure a second term. The thought of either of them with their finger on the button really does scare the pants off of me.

Phone hacking

Didn’t have Hugh Grant down as a post-modern genius. Then this emerged, and everything changed. Now there is a parody video to go along with it, and I think Mr. Grant is the bomb (incidentally, he’s bloody good in About A Boy too). Congrats:

Calm down dear

David Cameron is in a bit of hot water after telling a female MP to “calm down, dear”, a la Michael Winner. That’s funny! Where he got that reference from, I have no idea – he’s about 5 years too late. However, it’s entertaining, brightens up parliament and has given me an idea. Themed PMQs. Just think. Sombrero day. Talk like a robot day. Rubbish insults from old commercials day.

It would certainly distract from the dreary AV debate. I’m voting No. It’s a typical leftie idea, that no-one should lose and if you do you should have a chance not to. The Labour idea of opening up university to everyone, including those wishing to study Bedspreads and Flower Arranging, has resulted in monster fees to support the overstretched system. Now those same ideals are being applied to our democracy, and I don’t think it will work. Sorry.

Consuela

Fucking funny:

In other news

-What’s the Spanish for man up?

-Love Greek.

-Team Wills.

Tune:

Good luck kids.

What the fuck has Obama done so far?

Obama takes a kicking

Superman, obv.

In the midterm elections, Obama took a pasting. The Democrats lost the House of Representative’s, and only just hung on to the Senate. America could be in gridlock for the next 2 years, after judging that in the 652 days since his inauguration, Obama hadn’t done enough. American’s were asking “What the fuck has Obama done so far?“, a question which this website handily answers. The problem is, although Obama IMHO has done well, he hasn’t hit a home run. I get the feeling that after the monumental wave of optimism the swept him into the White House, he could never win. Take for example, his ongoing trip to Asia in which he takes in India. An erroneous news report, claiming this visit would cost $200m a day, was seized upon in the US, by, surprise surprise, Fox and the right wing media. To put that figure into context, the war in Afghanistan, complete with it’s 100,000 personnel, costs $190m a day. Plus Obama is using the visit to secure $6bn in new business. The story’s bullshit, the impact isn’t. The odds seem too great, and unfortunately, Obama looks destined to lose, whatever the score.

Zach Galifianakis – hero

Lighting a spliff live on TV elevates anyone immediately to legend status:

Wayne Rooney guy

In case you haven’t noticed, it was Bonfire Night on Friday. Not that the fireworks were restricted to Friday night – it still sounds like the Battle of the Somme outside my house. Traditionally, a guy is burnt on the bonfire, and a publicity-seeking bunch of skullfuckers (can you guess where this one is going?) decided that their guy was going to be a 49ft Wayne Rooney. Why? Have they ever met Rooney? No. Have any of them ever cheated on their partners? Probably. Have any of them ever aspired to higher wages? Certainly. Are they judgmental, hypocritical pricks? I think you can guess where this one is going.

The Emperor

Haile Gebrselassie is to retire from atheltics. He always ran smiling, and was gracious in defeat and victory. Along with this, he has has used his success to help those in his homeland of Ethiopia, employing over 1,000 people. A true great.

In other news

-I hate Bolton.

-I like Seurat.

-This week will be heavy. Oh yeah.

Lastly, I massively want the impending disappointment of U2 headlining Glastonbury to be balanced out by The Rolling Stones being there too:

Gimme shelter from fucking Bono, please.