2010 – boom!

Another year gone…

I’m wearing a pair of shorts. I’m at home. I’m watching Sky Sports. I got in at 4.30am. This can only mean thing. It’s the Christmas break, and this year is nearly over. So here’s my little round-up of good stuff from 2010. In no particular order then:

Going places

One of the rubbish bits of leaving uni and getting jobs has been being so far away from some of the best people in the world. But the flip side of this is going to see these people, and the usually drink-fuelled fun that ensues. This year, I’ve been hungover in Bristol, Preston, Beer, Banbury, Cambridge, Sheffield (more than once – cheers Andy!), Cardiff and home. And here is a little map of where I’ve taken pictures – this is my favourite feature on the iPhone:

Drinkypoos

New years resolution – make that map a bit more international. However, my trip to America was pretty amazing, so I can’t complain too much.

Blue Turning Grey

A Christmas discovery, courtesy of the film Whip It, which was pretty cool. I bloody love this:

Bret Easton Ellis

His writing is brilliant. It really captures a feeling I’m sure we’ve all had at some stage, a sense of pointlessness in our lives. While Less Than Zero is a drifting snapshot of vacuous teenage parties and relationships, Glamorama is a bizarre engaging film-noir style romp through fashion shows, sex scenes and terrorist attacks. He’s definitely my favourite author at the moment.

Devon

The best fun.

Kick Ass

Honourable mentions to Scott Pilgrim and Greenberg, but Kick Ass is my film of the year. Nicholas Cage is probably the best thing about it, but the self tan scene is pretty special too. McLovin is funny as, and Hit-Girl is an abusive little banshee. Smashing:

Tame Impala

Album of the year, by a fair distance. That said, I’m losing touch with music. New years resolution #2 – sort it out. This, however, is pretty much perfect:

In other news

-Looking forward to Mad Men. Cheers bro!

-Looking forward to Kindleing about. Cheers ‘rents!

-Lincoln are unbeaten in December. My Lincoln are 7th in the Premiership. Tidy.

This goat is the tits:

Right, one last thing. It’s been so cool seeing old friends over the holiday period, and a couple of you have said you like my rants. I really appreciate any praise I get for this blog, it’s just a laugh but it’s sweet knowing some of you like it so muchos gracias. See you in the new year!

Tron

Super rad

TRON

So, I got to see Tron way early, thanks to a bit of good luck and a very cool lady. We turn up to Leicester Square, at this point not even knowing what we were going to be watching. Lizo Mzimba (yeah, that one) and the director Joseph Kosinski introduced it, and then it was on with 3D specs and down go the lights. Now, Tron is not the greatest story ever. It’s a popcorn flick, albeit a good one. What makes the film great is the visual feast that you’re offered. Most of the film takes place in the virtual world of The Grid, and it is stunning. 3D was made for films like this. At no point is there a crappy WHOA THAT AXE IS GOING TO HIT ME IN THE FACE LOL JK IT’S JUST THE MOVIE moment. Instead, 3D creates an incredible alternate reality which light and darkness are used as building blocks. Michael Sheen gives another great turn, seemingly as Ziggy Stardust squared. So, without being particularly brilliant, Tron is brilliant. Here’s a trailer y’all:

Idiot #22

Chris Hughton has been sacked as Newcastle manager. Because he has nurtured one of the most in form strikers in the league, because his team are 11th and because they have played some bloody good football. Mike Ashley is a beer-swilling, pig-fucking, self-defeating joke of an owner. Newcastle are apparently looking for a more experienced manager, but any manager with experience is likely to look at that club and think ‘wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole attached to a bargepole’. Ashley couldn’t be more of a retard if he hired the Angel of the North as manager. Mike, you’re a massive fucking idiot. But at least you have a lucrative career as a space hopper when your tiny deluded mind realises that you really ain’t cut out for this. Fuck off fatso. Bobby Robson will be turning in his grave.

You daft cunt

Everyone will have heard this radio faux pas from earlier. And probably this one too. I do love an accidental C-bomb.

That’s my penis

Need I say more? Haha:

In other news

–Chico y Rita – very good. Quite a few cartoon boobs too.

-Top weekend, bar my episode.

-I love China. Nutters.

Shout Out Louds:

Tip-top-scando-garage-pop. Oh yeah. VERY LOUD.

Fuck FIFA

Mafia 2018 to be trumped by Gaybasher 2022?

There's HOW much in the brown envelope under my chair?

So, we lost. But for England in the footballing arena, this is no surprise. Not since 1966 have we triumphed on the world stage. So, why the indignation over FIFA’s decision? Well, it was widely acknowledged that tecnichally, England had the best bid, and it was also the most economically viable. The presentation by Prince William, David Cameron and David Beckham was also well received. When the news emerged that England’s bid was eliminated in the first round of voting, it was met with genuine shock. Despite the allegations of corruption made by the Times and the BBC (not without hard evidence, it must be said) it was believed that England stood a good chance of winning. But we lost to Russia. Russia has fair worse infrastructure and stadia. It assassinates ex-spies in foreign countries. It then elects the suspected murderer to the state parliament, to ensure he gets immunity from any accusations arising from said murder. But accusations of Russia being a chaotic, mafia-style gangland are obviously wide of the mark. As for Qatar, the high temperature in June averages at 41 degrees celsius and homosexuality is a crime. So all those gay footballers who are being encouraged to come out should have a whale of a time, if only they don’t die of heatstroke. Sepp claims to be spreading the game around the world. All he’s doing is lining his filthy fucking pockets.

Mental animal #1

Badass otter on the rampage. Listen for the guy screaming:

Chavez is a bit of a dude

Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, is a socialist. So much so that after recent flooding, he told some of the victims to come back to his palace until they could return to their homes. What a hero. Somehow, I can’t see DC inviting flood victims over to No. 10 for a sleepover.

Mental animal #2

There’s nothing there mate:

In other news

-The snow makes people ACT LIKE FUCKING RETARDS.

-Need sleep.

-Burger King adverts are like crack – I want more. NOW.

New Kanye album is very good. My fave:

You can suck my balls through my draws. Ciao.