Too fast/slow/few/many/soft/hard *delete as appropriate

They fuzzed up

You wait forever for a bus, and then it turns up on fire

Soooo… let’s get this straight. When the police shot Mark Duggan, they acted too fast. They shot a man, albeit one suspected of being a gangster and who was carrying a gun, in what looks remarkably like an assassination. They then jumped the gun (metaphor in poor taste, I know) allegedly beating a girl who posed little to no threat at the protest in Tottenham.

Then they acted too slow. Despite numerous calls from the public, rioters were able to act completely unhindered in their criminal acts. Looters gambolled about, taking whatever they fancied, keeping one step ahead of the police by using those fancy new fangled MOBILE phones (yeah I know – a phone you can carry. Space age madness).

There weren’t enough police on the streets last Monday night. Where they were in the vicinity of the riots, they were overrun and had to watch the carnage unfold. Their numbers were too few to be able to confront the troublemakers head on.

However, when the streets were flooded with extra officers the following night, there were too many police. Little to no trouble flared (I wonder why?!) in the London streets that had been bedlam 24 hours before. Elsewhere in the country, Manchester, Birmingham, Gloucester, where police had been taken from to keep London quiet, opportunists struck up where their counterparts in the capital had left off.

Throughout the whole crisis, the authorities were too soft. Why weren’t the police battering the insolent little shits? Why weren’t the government authorising use of CS gas and water cannon? Hell, why weren’t there SWAT teams riding through the streets on the back of polar bears, cursing any rioter with Avada Kedavra?

Now the dust has settled, the authorities have been too harsh. Among sentences criticised, the four years given to two Warrington men for attempting to incite riots and the 6 months for stealing water worth £3.50 have been singled out. Never mind the fact that in both instances, the punishments meted out were in line with sentencing guidelines.

I don’t see why the police bother. There will always be those who think they act too often either in haste or with undue caution. There will always be a case for more police, but just enough, or costs will rocket. There will always be those screaming for the death penalty, or to just leave the kids alone.

Would those people be willing to investigate child abuse? Would they rush to the scene of a horrific car crash? Would they smash down the door of a drug den? I doubt it. Maybe, then, they should quiet down. Because unless the police have definitively done wrong, their job is hard enough. They had enough flying at them last week, without unmerited criticism too.

Really, people should just photoshop a looter.

Unscripted scenes

Heath Ledger’s is bloody brilliant:

Joey Barton

I’m not here to defend a man for his previous actions – Joey Barton has done some pretty disgusting things in his time, as I’m sure he would admit. He has brought all the extra scrutiny he suffers on himself. But he also deserves a fair crack of the whip. On Saturday he was stamped on. Then, when he saw someone cheating (don’t give me that “but there was contact” crap – that contact wouldn’t have knocked over a one-legged shelter dog, let alone a fully grown man) he had the cheek to drag him up off the ground. Yeas, he went down like a wimp, but he apologised straight after the match.

He isn’t an angel. But he admits his faults, and is extraordinarily candid in his interactions with both press and public. I have warmed to him, and I reckon he deserves a break. When you see someone cheating so blatantly, it makes your blood boil. I once told an opposition player if he dived again, I’d stamp on his face, and I have nothing like Barton’s rap sheet.

So again – unless he really does something wrong, shut the fuck up.

Listen to Joey and one very angry dickhead here.


In other news

-Love the Punjab.

-Men pretending to be women? Me no likey.

-Pink Lemonade.

Beautiful beautiful song:

Feel the sunshine, on your face.


Riot? Nah

Anti-social bellends will lose

House of Reeves, a 144 year old shop, goes up in smoke

I don’t know if you noticed, but all has not been well. Starting in Tottenham on Saturday in the wake of one man’s death at the hands of the police, the unrest has spread like a particularly vile cancer. What begin as protest evolved into madness and poisonous mayhem.

From Croydon to Enfield, Bristol to Manchester, and many other places in between, trouble-making turned to looting and police were stretched to their limit. It has been disgusting to witness the carnage. The picture above of the Reeves furniture shop that was destroyed by fire is the tip of the rotten iceberg. Aside from Mark Duggan, the supposed gangster shot by police, 4 other men have died so far, with others critically ill in hospital. Gangs of kids have burgled relentlessly, and robbed mercilessly:

Don’t believe that it was all disaffected youth, taking the opportunity to nick some trainers. In Liverpool, 50% of people arrested were over 17. One of the first people in court facing charges relating to the riots was a 31 year old school worker. Yes, there was a huge youth element to the trouble, but to say this was school-holiday boredom is a fallacy.

Just blaming one cause is pointless. There was one ridiculous posh witch on Newsnight who said, and I quote, “I bet 50% [of rioters] have no involved father”. Bollocks. I have never heard more tosh in my life. I came from a broken home and I know right from wrong. Every rioter had a choice to make, personally, that has nothing to do with your wealth, family life, or upbringing. You don’t need a dad to know that bricking Currys is wrong.

Two things must be kept at the forefront of attention once the idiots go home. Firstly, people died. Whether or not Mark Duggan was a gangster, there must be a full inquiry into his death and if it was unlawful, action must be taken. The deaths of the man shot in London and those run down in Birmingham while defending their neighbourhood should not go unpunished either – those left behind deserve justice.

Secondly, there are thousands of idiots on the streets, but thousands more who are good honest people. Yes, that kid got robbed. So someone set up a website to help him out. Yes, whole boroughs got trashed, and set alight. So people organised themselves on Twitter to clean it up. Yes, our world turned a bit mad. But London, and the UK, will carry on, safe in the knowledge that the shitheads who perpetrated the worst of the criminal acts are a tiny minority. They may have new trainers. But we have morality, solidarity, and won’t be defeated. So fuck off and try it on elsewhere.

Animals being dicks

Kids being dicks

Footballers being dicks

In other news


-Sorry this is a shit blog, apart from the apocalypse, nothing much is happening.

-St. Adrian Nicodemia is the patron saint of arms-dealers.

Weed Demon:

Right, I’m off to watch my new plasma. Night.