One-eyed Nick’s a total prick

See you next Tuesday

A gay couple has been awarded damages after being turned away from a bed and breakfast where they were booked to stay for the night. The Christian B&B owners refused to let them stay in a double bed together, and said, “We believe a person should be free to act upon their sincere beliefs about marriage under their own roof”.

To be fair to the B&B owners, they refused to let unmarried heterosexual couples stay together as well. However, all this means is they discriminate equally. The issue here is that the B&B owners roof is not just theirs anymore. As soon as those bedrooms are sold for the night, the proprietors lose their say over who stays there. You don’t like those who want to pay for your services? Don’t offer them.

I don’t believe that religion should take precedence over sexuality. One can decide on Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Voodoo, Paganism or anyone of the myriad of religious belief systems. All are stories, all teach values and none are more valid than any other. However, no one chooses who they love. Religion is a choice, sexual preference is not.

Nick Griffin has decided to lend his typically lop-sided view on events, tweeting about the supposed ‘heterophobia’ of the decision. He then went on to tweet the address of the quiet, unassuming couple. He said “A British justice team will come & give you a bit of drama by way of reminding you that an English couple’s home is their castle”.

We all know that Nick Griffin is a witless thundercunt. He has no right to incite “drama” (i.e. violence) against an elderly couple, no matter what their views. He proposes dealing with their supposed intolerance of heterosexuals with yet more intolerance. As of 22:20 on October 18th, his Twitter account has been suspended, and rightly so.

I am a young white straight British male. My life is simple. I will never be turned down for a job based on my age. I will never be racially discriminated against. No-one will ever mock my sexuality. I speak the native language of my country. I will never experience a glass ceiling due to not having a penis. My life is easy.

For anyone who doesn’t fall into that bucket of convenience, they will endure various levels of unfairness. Nick Griffin, Y Gribin, Llanerfyl, Y Trallwng, Welshpool, SY21 0JQ, believes that he has the right to exacerbate that. Wouldn’t it be a shame if someone went and showed that subhuman fucktard a bit of drama at his house?

Eton Style

Serbian monkey chants “not racist”

The Serbian FA has denied that there were “any occurrences of racism” during their U21 match against England:

They’re monkey chants, aimed at black men. THAT’S RACISM, ASSHATS. Serbia have prior form, and should be banned from tournament football. UEFA and FIFA pussyfoot around the issue and the issue never goes away. It is abhorrent that in this day and age, young men can’t go and play football in a foreign country without being abused for the colour of their skin. Serbia – fuck off, and drag your sorry football fans into the present day and age. Until then, play with yourselves. Wankers.

High pressure front

High pressure in the west

In other news

-Wet wetson.

Nic Cage’s head.

-Sore fingers. OOH ER.

Hot Chip tomorrow, wooooop!

Everything spins.


Argy Bargy

Falking madness

Either a tiny ship or a monster sheep

It is fast approaching 30 years since the last Falklands conflict. 907 people died during the fierce conflict, and since then, an uneasy truce has existed between Britain and Argentina. Thankfully, the only battles that have transpired in the interim have involved 22 men, a ball and unhealthy amounts of nationalistic vitriol.

Worryingly though, the tensions surrounding the issue of sovereignty of Las Malvinas/the Falkland Islands have been rising again. The posting of Prince William to the region has led Argentina to claim that Britain is militarising the region. How a horsey posh boy signals that I’m unsure. Argentina has responded by imposing restrictions on shipping in the area, with Argentine unions boycotting the ships of “British pirates”. The 2,500 islanders are becoming increasingly isolated, and the leaders of the respective nations increasingly agitated.

Meanwhile, as if the situation wasn’t ridiculous enough, Sean Penn has got involved. Yes, that Hollywood guy who has absolutely no perspective on the situation or historical context whatsoever. “I think that the world today is not going to tolerate any kind of ludicrous and archaic commitment to colonialist ideology,” said the democratically elected leader rat faced twat, speaking after a meeting with Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner. Seriously, Sean – you’ve made some good films (The Assassination Of Richard Nixon being my personal favourite) but go play in traffic.

The Argentinian FA is going to get a talking to, after proposing to rename their domestic football league to the Crucero General Belgrano First Division. The Belgrano was an Argentine cruiser that was sunk in the conflict with the loss of 323 lives. Is it really necessary to cheapen that sacrifice by attaching the name of the ship to a sports league, like a sponsor?

Now, I should admit some bias – my Dad has been to the Falklands twice and was in the British Forces. Even for me, it is easy to see the Argentine point of view. The Islands are some 8,000 miles from the UK, and 289 from Argentina. Our interest is historic, but also fuelled by the potential oil fields located in the waters around them.

It is the islanders who suffer. Not having enough eggs for example. This would hurt them, not that they are reliant on eggs for their diet. They are a tough cohort who pride themselves on how many generations of their family have lived on the Islands. In this clip on Newsnight, the one thing that is apparent, aside from Paxman’s ability to make everyone look foolish, is the intense spirit of independence that embellishes Assembly Member Dick Sawle’s perspective. The Islands are rocky, barren, and generally inhospitable, but their occupants work hard to ensure their survival. It is not by chance that the flag of the Falklands carries the motto ‘desire the right’. It is also telling that the local describes Argentina’s actions in 1982 as an invasion.

In all honesty, I feel that both Britain and Argentina’s claims to the Islands are valid. Therefore, the islanders right of self-determination comes to the fore. Until the day that they decide to be Argentine, they shall be British. Not a Prince, a football league nor Sean fucking Penn can do anything about that.

Front flip

Quite cool:


Good wolf


In other news

-Squash won.

-Soup good.

-Berlin booked.

LCD Soundsystem – got there late, love them:

Where are your friends tonight?


so what about the Libyans?

Dead, you'll have seen that though

Colonel Gaddafi is dead, shot by persons unknown after being dragged from a sewer. His life ended in a manner that befitted a brutal dictator. The press reveled in the pictures of the last moments of his life, captured on videophone. It was all over the front pages of Friday’s papers.

Quite frankly, I found it all pretty disgusting. I’ll link through here to some of the front pages – I won’t host them here as they were vile. Take for example the Sun’s headline: THAT’S FOR LOCKERBIE. AND FOR YVONNE FLETCHER. AND IRA SEMTEX VICTIMS. Er, what about the countless Libyans persecuted, tortured, murdered in his 42 years of power?

This war wasn’t supposed to be about the West. This was part of the Arab Spring, an uprising brought about by the disaffection of a people subjected to cruelty and yearning for a fairer, free society. Yet you wouldn’t have thought it, to look upon the gloating, hypocritical press.

Yes, Gaddafi was responsible, however indirectly, for many Western deaths. But this wasn’t our victory, it was the Libyan nation’s. And what about all the children who would have seen the pictures of Gaddafi’s dying moments or his corpse? Our press bangs on about the loss of childhood and how films, computer games and the internet are warping children’s fragile little minds. Smacking a great big picture of a dead man on the front of your rag helps that how?

It’s important to acknowledge moments of history like this, but when we celebrate a death like Gaddafi’s in the manner we have, we lower ourselves to that level. Gaddafi might have been a murderous despot, but there is no place for the glorification of any death. It’s unjustifiable, and wrong, and despicable. Gaddafi would’ve been proud.

Man Wolfs

This is the greatest shoe ad ever:

Ministry of Sound

This is pretty boss:

Fanny Chmelar

This is pretty funny:

In other news

-Off drink.

-Robot Chicken is brilliant.


This is pretty beautiful:

Tremble with a sigh…

Mitch needs catharsis…

It’s not about the fame. Honest.

Loving father?

It seems like yesterday that I woke up, hungover to fuck, and found out that Amy Winehouse hadn’t woken up, hungover to fuck. I don’t care for her music whatsoever. Her story was tragic, but none more so than any other addict who died too young.

Maybe it was too much to expect her to be able to lay to rest in peace. But, just like in life, Winehouse is making headlines. Or rather, her father Mitch is.

Mitch is going to write a memoir of the singer, to be published next year. He says he needs to write “to tell the true story of Amy and to help with my personal recovery”. The spokesman from Harper Non-Fiction proclaimed the book “will be a must-read for Amy’s legions of fans, and also a heartbreaking account of a father’s love for his lost daughter that will speak to any parent”.

Call me a cynic, but is this really about telling the story of a fallen star? I’m not so sure. While all the proceeds from the book will go to The Amy Winehouse Foundation, a wise man once said (or I just did) “not all profits can be measured in pounds”. Mitch was a taxi driver – now he’s a media personality, releasing his own albums. If he hadn’t sired a pop singer, where would he be now? Probably wherever his next fare told him to be.

Plus, all these “heartbreaking accounts”, to paraphrase American Beauty, make me want to puke my fucking guts up, Sir. The ‘tragic life’ section of Waterstones is possibly the lowest ebb of humanity. The very fact that people act so barbarically towards others is disgusting. But then for people to write and profit from those acts, and for others to voyeuristically lap them up with a cup of cocoa makes me want to give all this up and go feral.

I also find it fucking distasteful that the publishers are talking about the book like a blockbuster film – to be released in summer 2012. It’s not Batman. It’s a book about a girl who got fed drugs by some fucked up people, destroyed her body, and never woke up. So, just let her rest, yeah?

Bullseye Contestants

FAVE new tumblr:

"He's my dinner, Jim"


Steve Jobs

Sorry I slagged you off the other night, I was drunk. Steve Jobs was a marketing genius. He hasn’t changed the world, the guys who invented the gadgets did. Maybe. But whatevs, I’m being a pedant. Good on you Steve. Sorry for being a dick.

In other news

-Don’t go Dave :(.

This is mental.

-I don’t like it when you fuck up my strawberries. Stop fucking up my strawberries.

If you don’t swagger listening to this, you must have NO game:

I love pretending to be hip. Please don’t take it away from me.


The antisecret is out

No shit

So, it was Ryan Giggs after all. In other news, bears and woods, Pope and hats, Adele and cake. He’s been shagging Imogen Thomas behind his wife’s back. And now we all conclusively know.

Of course, we all had a right to this information. I know my bed felt warmer, my toast crunchier, and my toilet paper more comforting with the knowledge of someone I have never met’s sex life safely lodged in my brain. This information was disclosed to Parliament by the MP John Hemming.

Hemming was fully aware that he was exempt from the Contempt of Court charge that could have been levied due to Parliamentary privilege. I would argue he is an attention seeker. After all, did anyone know who he was before this affair? Also, pot, kettle, black – Hemming has a love child and his wife estimates he has had around 26 affairs.

So the guy concerned is morally bankrupt, as is the elected member of Parliament who exposed him. What about the people who wanted to break the injunction – namely The Sun and Imogen Thomas? (By the way, I’m assuming she wanted to go to the papers, being named as a joint defendant in the court case with The Sun). Well, Justice Eady who issued the superinjunction in the first place and is the only person to have heard all available evidence, decided “that there was ample reason not to trust Ms. Thomas“. (Read the whole judgement – properly interesting). So she is dubious too. And The Sun? Well if you’re looking to them for guidance, you may as well give Gary Glitter a call about the babysitting.

Ryan Giggs was an idiot, and I feel sorry for his wife and family. But there was no public interest served by revealing his private life to the world. He will be remembered as a love rat by many, not as the most successful footballer of the Premiership era. It’s a shame for him, and a shame on us. But there you go. At least we had a good view from our high horses.

Giggs as I think of him:

I don’t know what this is…

…but it could be the greatest sport ever. And once again, thank you Japan:

Ian Tomlinson

The Pc who pushed Ian Tomlinson to the floor, Simon Harwood, will stand trial for manslaughter. Following on from the enquiry which found he was unlawfully killed, this was the logical step. It may have taken some time, but justice may now be served. Ian Tomlinson may have been an alcoholic, not fully in control of his actions, but Harwood should have been. The police are there to protect the populace, not bring them to harm. Hopefully, this trial will set a precedent which will ensure the police stick to that guiding principle.

Q magazine

300 issues old, largely irrelevant, but still publishers of one of my favourite pop photos ever. Hello cutie:


In other news

-No apocalypse. Yuh think?

Incredible shot.

-Yeah, that’s me in the letters section.

New Horrors. LOVE THIS BAND:

Sublime. Goodnight.

Osexy bin Laden

Osama was a man – who knew?

Just out of shot - 'The Human Sexipede'

News has broken that a considerable stash of blue movies was found in the compound where OBL was assassinated nearly 2 weeks ago. Osama, underneath all the murderous vitriol, may well have just been your average guy. I imagine his day being something like this:

8am – Wake up, feel rough. Need to pee, don’t want to get up.

9am – Have peed. Had a shower, lots of fluff in arse crack.

10am – Breakfast. Krave, this stuff is amazing.

11am – What does anyone do at this time of day? It’s useless.

1pm – Lunch. Wife #3 ate all the peanut butter, so I chop off her hands.

2pm – Jeremy Kyle repeat on ITV2, laugh at Scottish junkies. I grew that shit!

3pm – Countdown. The conundrum was truculent. Fap over the maths girl.

4pm – Wives comes home with 12 children. Lock myself in toilet and play Angry Birds for 45 minutes.

5pm – Dinner. Rice again. I asked for fajitas, and wife #7 disobeyed. Chop off her hands.

6pm – Who’s that handsome devil on the box? Me, that’s who.

7pm – Just For Men my beard.

8pm – Watching El Clasico. Allah, I hate Ronaldo.

10pm – Family Guy double bill, then bed. Stick on some Tera Patrick, fap again. Dream of 72 virgins.


The whole superinjunction issue has been rearing it’s frankly ridiculous head again. The Premiership footballer who’d been knobbing Imogen from Big Brother has been named abroad (hint – SGGIG NAYR allegedly) but I see both sides of the coin. It’s very dangerous in a free country to be gagging the press. But I can also feel that people in the public eye can still expect a private life. All the rubbish about “right to know” is just that. We as a society enjoy titillation, pure and simple. Other people’s dirty laundry is our water cooler chat, our free paper fodder and our filthy joke inspiration. If a celeb sells their family image and then reneges on that with a hooker, that’s news. But if a private person in the public eye has a social life or sexual preferences that would sell papers, it doesn’t necessitate being published.

That being said, the superinjunction debate did make Guido Fawkes say dildo on Sky News:

Coke sex

Congrats to the ad-man who snuck this into an 80s Coke campaign:

... and a can of cock please

Andy Gray’s revenge

Fkn funny:

In other news

Seriously tempted.

-I do love my skittles sours.

Miss Lincolnshire – 5 contenders, and Mrs. BFG.

Dave took me to see The Antlers yesterday, and they were colossal. Just a cracking gig. My highlight:


Steven Davies, modern hero

He’s out, and it’s a good thing

Steven Davies - a brilliant man


England cricketer Steven Davies has come out as gay. This shouldn’t be news – statistically he isn’t the only one. But in reality, professional sport has a problem with homosexuality. Despite the wave of support and admiration for Davies, there will be players and fans who believe Davies has made the wrong decision. They will say it will create disharmony in the dressing room, that it will make the team vulnerable to abuse, that it could be a distraction from the game at hand. Of course, this is all bollocks. Just because he likes men, doesn’t mean he likes all men. If Ian Bell drops the soap, Davies isn’t going to slyly penetrate him. Davies will continue as he did before, but with one poignant difference – the next gay cricketer/sportsperson won’t feel alone. Homophobia will be beaten by acceptance, but it will take time and it will take more bravery like that Steven Davies has displayed. However, equality is coming, and that can only be a great thing.

Iran boycott

Iran reckons the 2012 Olympic logo looks like it spells Zion:

ZION lol jk everyone knows it's Lisa Simpson giving head

Er, bullshit. But a boycott would still be a shame. No Iranian bobsleigh team? No Iranian beach volleyball? No Iranian synchro 10m diving? Gutted.


John Galliano has been sacked by Christian Dior for allegedly aiming anti-semitic remarks at drinkers in a Parisian bar. Among the things he supposedly said:

“I love Hitler”

“people like you would be dead”

“Your mothers, your forefathers would all be fucking gassed”

Cunt. Simple as. If he’s guilty, he should be fucking gassed. That’d be beautiful irony.

Stalker cat

This is why the internet is brilliant:

In other news

-In the party mood.

Cardiff hotspots.

-Giggsy – 20 years, going strong.

Arcade Fire, yeah:

Belter off the suburbs. If I was pure.