Cat lady

No, not the mental one who lives down the street

I was put in a bin too. I am going to fuck someone up. Funny now?

The British public are world renowned for keeping things in perspective. Unbelievably so, a huge kerfuffle has erupted over a woman putting a cat in a bin. The usually calm and moderate readers of such reasonable publications as the Sun have taken umbrage to cat lady, with some Facebook users calling for her to be murdered. It is hardly surprising considering the gravity of her crime against animals, and the unimaginable cruelty that was inflicted on poor Lola.

Meanwhile, this goes on in Spain:

Lucky bull. You lucky fuck. What did you have to deal with? Death as a sport? Being so terrified you tried to escape? Subsequently being shot in the face for risking the lives of those who paid money to be entertained by you losing yours? You should be thanking your lucky bull stars you weren’t a cat in Coventry.

Chilean miners

So, the Chilean miners have been told that they may not be free until Christmas. 99% of me wants this to be resolved in the safest, most rational way possible. However, the remaining 1% of me thinks that this could be the REAL ultimate Big Brother. The Guardian article states that the miners are going to be given antidepressants, and special lighting will be used to imitate night and day. So, picture this – give the miners a shitload of ecstasy, make the day last 25 minutes and night last 25 seconds, and feed the miners only protein shakes. Totally better than Ulrika and Brian Dowling farting about, yeah? (On a serious note, please get out guys).

Streaker with massive tits? Oh

Richard Branson, cool as flip

For his 60th party, Richard Branson had a party. On a surfboard. Attached to a kite. In the English Channel. He is the coolest old guy in the world. His record attempt was only thwarted because it was too dangerous for the boats. He wanted to carry on! Leg and indeed end.

Cyanide and Happiness

My future defence

In other news

-Neck, meet whiplash. Whiplash, neck. Play nice!

-What will Channel 4 do after Big Brother? Good things by the looks of it.

-I love skyscrapers!

Finally, I may be a bit late to the Fuck You party. Fuck You:

Right. Rest for my weary head. Sweet dreams.

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