Dappy | Don't you have time to think?

Idiot #6

Yes, Dappy of N-Dubz fame, it’s you. Channel 4 and it’s affiliate broadcast some excellent television (my faves – The Daily Show, the True Stories series of documentaries and Inside Nature’s Giants). For some unknown reason, the programming execs thought that C4 was missing a programme about 3 fuckwits making music that sounds like a retarded goat stamping on a gameboy. That’s why they commissioned Being… N-Dubz, in which Dappy talks about how he lies to police, and dodges train fares. Next he’ll be telling us how he wrote “mr smith sux dik” on his desk in Maths in 1997. Last time Dappy was in the news, he’d copied a listeners phone number off a computer screen at Radio 1, and threatened her, all because she had the temerity to criticise his crappy music. He obviously feels the need to show just how big a fish he is – the problem is, the pond is very small (well, he’s the only one in it). And it’s full of shit.

Dappy joke: Rapper Dappy has spoken about how he routinely lies to the police.

“Occupation sir?”

“Err, entertainer.”

World Cup

Spain – su equipo es tremendo mierda! Really good game earlier -Spain with alot of possession, and the Swiss counter-attacking with vim and vigour and nearly adding to their goal. Many of the commentators and pundits have been quick to write off this World Cup as of poor quality and lacking in goals. But I think this World Cup is great! The favourites have lost their first game, strong teams are drawing against (supposedly) weaker ones and North Korea almost got a point from Brazil! Personally, I’d rather it be a bit unpredictable and the quality not be there. A semi-final line-up of Brazil, Italy, Argentina and Spain would probably produce beautiful football, but this is a cup competition and it’s cracking that after the first round of games, we are none the wiser as to who may win. Game on!

Adidas

Yeah, Adidas is a bit chavvy, but they don’t half make a good advert. Where else can you see Snoop Dogg wielding a lightsaber?