No, no, no, no

Oh, piss off. Doesn’t your back hurt still?

A tad harsh? Well, no.

So I get up at 8.30 on Sunday morning. I’m quite prepared to do this, every now and again. Especially when Glastonbury tickets are going on sale. I’m thinking Radiohead, Kanye West, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, The Strokes, Weezer, Foo Fighters, Phil Collins, Underworld, Tiesto. Luckily, I get tickets for me and Dave. And then U2 rumours start. Now, after this years cancellation it was inevitable, but I hoped that it was a case of the moment passing. Please don’t let it be U2. Glasto can be sanctimonious enough without that spouter of pious hypocrisy banging on from the Pyramid Stage. What’s more, U2 have been pretty rubbish since the 90s, which is about the same time Bono got sunglasses surgically grafted to his stupid peanut head. I hope that the rumours aren’t true. Julian Casablancas et al – Pilton needs you.

An aside – Bill Bailey demonstrates what a technical failure at a U2 gig would sound like:

Politics in North America

The US political system is so twisted and PR driven, that political candidates have to issue denials that they aren’t witches. But then Christine O’Donnell shoots herself in the foot by stating ‘I’m you’. Well, as far as I’m concerned, the only possible way of her being me is polyjuice potion. Ergo, she must be a witch. See for yourself:

Politics in South America

They’re just brilliant. Nowhere else in the world would the President organise a football match against a political foe. Then knee one of the opposition players in the bollocks. Miliband v. Miliband anyone? Here’s the cock shot:

Art

I don’t get it, still. How is being shrinkwrapped art? The ‘artist’, Lawrence Malstaf, says he wants viewers to see “the humanity, the breathing, the gentleness, the beauty”. YOU”RE WRAPPING PEOPLE IN CLINGFILM. How is that artistic?! I really see nothing there, apart from a bizarre stunt akin to putting your head in a plastic bag. Surely there has to be a limit, where it stops being ‘art’ and starts being ‘wank’. Although I’d imagine someone has already tried to pass wank off as art. Methinks I’ll just keep on ignoring it.

In other news

Medvedev’s stereo.

-We all saw that coming.

-Him & Her – superb.

I like this:

The xx – VCR (Four Tet remix) by Four Tet

Right, melon. Au revoir.

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Oh no! Bono hurt his back

Bono

I think U2 are rubbish. The early years produced some great songs, like With Or Without You and Where The Streets Have No Name. But now, they’ve kind of disappeared up their own arses. The music isn’t good, and the band occupies itself building bigger and bigger stages, and not raising money for charity. While I applaud Bono for trying to raise awareness of HIV/AIDS, Project (Red) spent £100 million on marketing in its first year, and raised £18 million. I mean, I’m no accountant but… just give Africa the £100 million.

And now Bono is hurt. They may have to cancel their headlining Glasto slot. I think Glasto would be all the better for it. Radiohead instead?

Playing God

A US geneticist, Craig Venter (good name), has ‘created‘ life. He and his team hope the technology could be used to create vaccines or fight pollution. But religious groups are all in a tizz, saying Venter is ‘playing God’. They say it was wrong of him to create something that wasn’t there before. One may argue that is exactly what religion has done. Is it going too far to suggest that those accusing are playing God themselves? Maybe. But I hope that this is an important step forward in science, and not held back by the naysayers.

LASERTITS

HALLELUJAH

‘Nuff said.

Cruzcampo

I had a litre bottle of this Spanish beer last night, and it ruined me.

In other news:

-The Paulo is back tomorrow. Yippee!
-I’m well excited about playing footy this weekend.
-I can’t get The xx out of my head.

Finally

I’ll buy toilet roll when you stop stealing my milk. Twats.