William Hague hangs on

Rumours fail to oust the best politician we have

Shit. Wrong Hague, my bad

William Hague is still a government minister following claims that he has been having an affair with a male special advisor. I, for one, am chuffed to bits. Hague is probably the best politician we have, and had he been leader of the Conservatives in May, there would be no coalition. The Tories would’ve walked the election. His time came way too early. These rumours are born out of speculation that has been doing the Westminster rounds for years about Hague and his sexuality, and seem to have gathered traction based on the fact that he shared a room with Christopher Myers, the aide who has since resigned due to the intense pressure of the situation. Now Hague’s judgement is being questioned for sharing the room. Yes, illicit lovers share hotel rooms. But are we so childish as a society that when two men share a hotel room our instantaneous collective reaction is “BUMMERS!”? Surely we could get past that. Sadly, Hague has now had to release a statement divulging details of the trouble he and his wife have had conceiving, as apparently no kids means surefire homosexual. Now, cynics will say that the affair was real, Hague’s statement was fabricated and a guilty man has got away with an extramarital affair. But *gasp* I trust Will, and I think the hounding by bloggers like Guido Fawkes was beyond the pale. Are you telling me if Hague was suspected of having a straight affair there would be this kind of vile shitstorm? Fuck off. These people should have a good, long look in the mirror, consider the hurt they have caused a (probably) innocent man, and microwave their testes so their sperm can’t fertilise an egg and spawn another twattasaurus equally as hateful as themselves.

Cool science

Another reason why science is awesome. What is the big blue splodge off the coast of Ireland?

Clue: not a smurf triathlon

Got it? It’s plankton. Even though they are microscopic individually, collectively the glow they create photosynthesising can taint the sea and be seen from space. SCIENCE IS FREAKING COOL.

The miners (not those ones, dirty paedos)

More miner news – I think there’s going to be alot of this until they get out. Apparently, their news might be censored to stop them getting depressed. These are chaps who have come to realise that they are trapped underground, still may not be rescued and have at least three months in their cave to get through before freedom. I reckon they can cope with ‘FOUR DIE IN BANK RAID’ if they’ve not strung themselves up already. Also being debated is the choice of entertainment to show the guys on their new projector. For God’s sake, don’t show them My Family or The Last Airbender – all hope will surely be lost.

I like this tramp

Also like Obama - 18% of Americans think I'm Muslim

In other news

Burning supercars, poor Louis Saha.

Genuine Palin quote – “If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”. She could potentially run the free world. Very fucking scary.

U Be Dead looks better than it’s shite title.

Finally, watch this, feel good:

Off for a beer and an apple. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…