Osexy bin Laden

Osama was a man – who knew?

Just out of shot - 'The Human Sexipede'

News has broken that a considerable stash of blue movies was found in the compound where OBL was assassinated nearly 2 weeks ago. Osama, underneath all the murderous vitriol, may well have just been your average guy. I imagine his day being something like this:

8am – Wake up, feel rough. Need to pee, don’t want to get up.

9am – Have peed. Had a shower, lots of fluff in arse crack.

10am – Breakfast. Krave, this stuff is amazing.

11am – What does anyone do at this time of day? It’s useless.

1pm – Lunch. Wife #3 ate all the peanut butter, so I chop off her hands.

2pm – Jeremy Kyle repeat on ITV2, laugh at Scottish junkies. I grew that shit!

3pm – Countdown. The conundrum was truculent. Fap over the maths girl.

4pm – Wives comes home with 12 children. Lock myself in toilet and play Angry Birds for 45 minutes.

5pm – Dinner. Rice again. I asked for fajitas, and wife #7 disobeyed. Chop off her hands.

6pm – Who’s that handsome devil on the box? Me, that’s who.

7pm – Just For Men my beard.

8pm – Watching El Clasico. Allah, I hate Ronaldo.

10pm – Family Guy double bill, then bed. Stick on some Tera Patrick, fap again. Dream of 72 virgins.

Superinjunctions

The whole superinjunction issue has been rearing it’s frankly ridiculous head again. The Premiership footballer who’d been knobbing Imogen from Big Brother has been named abroad (hint – SGGIG NAYR allegedly) but I see both sides of the coin. It’s very dangerous in a free country to be gagging the press. But I can also feel that people in the public eye can still expect a private life. All the rubbish about “right to know” is just that. We as a society enjoy titillation, pure and simple. Other people’s dirty laundry is our water cooler chat, our free paper fodder and our filthy joke inspiration. If a celeb sells their family image and then reneges on that with a hooker, that’s news. But if a private person in the public eye has a social life or sexual preferences that would sell papers, it doesn’t necessitate being published.

That being said, the superinjunction debate did make Guido Fawkes say dildo on Sky News:

Coke sex

Congrats to the ad-man who snuck this into an 80s Coke campaign:

... and a can of cock please

Andy Gray’s revenge

Fkn funny:

In other news

Seriously tempted.

-I do love my skittles sours.

Miss Lincolnshire – 5 contenders, and Mrs. BFG.

Dave took me to see The Antlers yesterday, and they were colossal. Just a cracking gig. My highlight:

What a band. WHAT A FUCKING BAND.

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One response to “Osexy bin Laden

  1. I agree with your thoughts here and I de facto love your blog! I’ve bookmarked it so that I can come back & read more in the future. Your post is very interesting. I’ve read your blog for few days now and I trully enjoy your blog. Thank you for your great work!

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