Ronery tyrant, 69, GSOH, seeks attention

Hans Bwix

So, it looks like the divide between the North and South has grown to epic proportions. No, this isn’t a 58 page pullout in the Observer (WE ASK 88 ORGANIC BEEKEEPERS FROM TIVERTON WHY THE NORTH IS SHIT) but the news that North Korea has been attacking Yeonpyeong island, a South Korean territory. Obviously, the North blamed the South, claiming they were attacked first. You know, like the Jews attacked Hitler first. Four South Koreans died in the attacks. World War 3 may well be around the corner. However, the upshot of the crisis is that it provoked Sarah Palin into proving yet again how fundamentally incapable she would be as leader of the free world. When asked how she would handle the situation, she said that the US had to stand by their North Korean allies. When the interviewer said South Korean, she said, yeah, those guys too. Seriously. Whilst Kim is a maniacal despot, I’m sure he’s never given a speech on his hatred of the United States of Australia. Palin should go back to what she does best – some kids need a lift to hockey. Bint.

On the jollier side of things, the Daily mash suggests a big plate of dog chops might sort it out.

Ahaha, hahaha

Football farce

Jose Mourinho is a hero. This week in the Champions League, his Real Madrid team got two players sent off, coincidentally avoiding potentially costly bans later in the competition. You’re born yesterday if you believe Mourinho’s protestations that he knew nothing about what was going on. But the sanctimonious outcry around Europe that resulted is the height of hypocrisy. Take for example, Arsene Wenger who called the episode “horrible”. This is Arsene Wenger, whose captain didn’t open a massive gash in an opposition players’ leg with a vile tackle earlier this year, resulting in said player being taken off the pitch on a stretcher. Whose striker didn’t get banned for diving for a penalty. Who has seen every single controversial incident his players have ever been involved. Who hasn’t elevated himself onto a pedestal of morality he has no fucking right to. Who should not be concentrating on his own team who have started losing a fair few recently and are looking a bit shit. Nope, Arsene, keep whinging, because you definitely don’t come across as a pious, preachy, priggish cunt.

Here’s a football funny:

Angry Birds

As well as being super addictive, it’s now also funny:

In other news

-Long week.

-“Frogs out of her arsehole, milk out of her ears”.

-Take my advice – she’s a shithead.

I can’t wait for Strokes IV. It better be as good as this. Brilliant video:

I try but you see, it’s hard to explain. Sleep tight kiddo.


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