Uruguay? U r gay.

Idiot #9

Let’s not beat about the bush – Ghana were robbed. An African nation could’ve been in the semi-finals of the World Cup for the first time ever. Instead, Luis Suarez (Spanish for Pissflap McBallsack) did his bit:

Now, there are two sides to this coin. I would do what Suarez did, as would the majority of other people who play football. The act is of defending your goal is mostly instinctive, and the only thought in your mind is to stop the ball crossing the line. But, and this is a big but, there is another side to the coin. Suarez had been diving and rolling and gurning like a twat all tournament, and considering the amount of con artists in the modern game, the fact that he stood out says it all. Also, Ghana were a breath of fresh air, playing free flowing football, enjoying themselves and beating America along the way. Finally, the unfortunate Asamoah Gyan, who missed the resulting penalty, had up ’til that point had a brilliant tournament. He led the line, scored goals and ran until his socks fell down. Then he ran some more. Unfortunately, despite all of the calls, there is no way the rules can be changed. Penalty goals like in rugby are completely unworkable in football. I was gutted when Ghana lost on penalties, and seeing Gyan crying inconsolably while Suarez grinned like an arsehole chimp was the perfect example of how unfair football can be. Luis Suarez, go fuck yourself. Black Stars forever!

Birthday

It was the tits. Ralphy and I have the same birthday, so I went to see him for a drink, and we ended up having a bit of a bender. I was trashed! Good to see a lot of old friends though. On my actual birthday, I got this:

It looks corking. I love a good psycho-game, bit of a thinker. I also got this. I am a very lucky boy!

Erotic Falconry

Yeah, you read right:

The early bird gets the worm

Go on, internet

The internet is good for two things – porn and bringing people together. Be it Friends Reunited, or getting Rage to #1, there is strength in numbers. It also means Justin Bieber might be going to North Korea. An ill-advised campaign whereby fans can vote to try and get Bieber to tour their country has been hijacked by users of 4chan, and the country winning at present is North Korea. Come on communism! I’d like to see Bieber get by over there. He’s no Einstein:

In other news:

-Science is très cool.

-Wow, cycling is harder than I thought.

-Come on, Netherlands.

Right, time to sleep of my five (count them, five) cream cakes. Boo ya.

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4 responses to “Uruguay? U r gay.

  1. A little respect please. The ghanians were kicking our players the whole night. Not only that but we were robbed off a penalty, given unjust yellow cards and Gyan was offside. Less hypocrasy please.

    • Gyan was offside when? They both got 3 yellows too. But does any of that change the fact that Suarez cheated and then celebrated his act? No. When it comes down to it, the final score should have been 2-1. Uruguay advanced in the wrong fashion, and then Suarez had the cheek to brag about cheating (“the Hand of God now belongs to me”, “I made the best save of the tournament”). If there’s any justice, the Dutch will hand Uruguay their ass on a plate. I show no respect to those, like Suarez, who don’t respect the game or their opposition.

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