Bloody Heskey

Rob Green was shit

… but Emile Heskey was shitter. Green’s mistake was amateur, and it’s debatable as to whether he should play our next match. Personally, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. But his error would have been all but irrelevant had Heskey scored a pretty easy one on one. Any one of our other strikers would’ve scored that, even Peter Crouch. But Heskey, no. He’s about as useful as Anne Frank’s drumkit. There’s only so much leeway you can give to a weak link. And Heskey is definitely the weak link.

Idiot #4

I like Elton John, he’s a brilliant musician. But he recently took $1m to play at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. For those of you who don’t know, Limbaugh is a rightwing American radio show host who in the past has mocked Michael J. Fox’s shakes (Fox has Parkinson’s) and called Barack Obama “Barack the magic negro”. His views on homosexuality – “If homosexuality being inborn is what makes it acceptable, why does racism being inborn not make racism acceptable?”. He’s the scum of the Earth. So, even if Elton donated his fee to charity, it’s dirty money, and he shouldn’t have gone anywhere near it.

Bateman

I love Jason Bateman. Arrested Development is one of the greatest TV shows ever made. And even the adverts he does are great:

Idiot #5

Mike Phelps, Daily Mail bigot:

What a cuntflap

Vuvuzelas

Shut the fuck up.

In other news:

JUNIOR APPRENTICE URGED TO GET SOME CIDER AND A COPY OF ‘PORKY’S’ BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE

-Who is the girl in Topman Lincoln?

-Privacy settings, the enemy of the curious man.

Right, I’m off to wash my hayfever pinkeye. Rubbish. Auf wiedersehen.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s