Simon Jenkins, writing for the Guardian, argues that we should scrap the armed forces to save £45bn. Do us all a favour Simon, and shut the fuck up. Firstly, we’d be defenceless. I know this sounds paranoid, but with the current situation in Israel, Iran and North Korea beefing up their arsenals, and India and Pakistan both with nuclear weapons, I find it somewhat reassuring to know that we have the best armed forces in the world. At least if it does all kick off, we won’t be sat waiting to get our arses kicked saying “at least the deficit is smaller!”. And not only do they defend, but the forces give manpower, support and aid in natural disasters. The Navy are a key component in the fight on drugs, constantly seizing cocaine that would otherwise be finding it’s way to Europe. And between them the forces employ almost 295,000 people, with another 145,000 in indirect employment (figures here). That’s 440,000 people you want to make unemployed Simon. And with unemployment at it’s highest since 1996, is that really sensible? Erm, no. Plus, as a British person, there’s not alot I’m proud of in this country. Like the NHS, the forces are part of our identity as a nation. I acknowledge that it is Jenkins’ job to be controversial, but it isn’t his job to be a twat. So wind your neck in.
James Corden is a total bellend. Anyone who knows me will know my feelings about this vacuous, unfunny waste of perfectly good KFC. I don’t like him, because everything he does is all about him. He loves getting his beach ball face anywhere and everywhere. Sport Relief became Cordenathon (PS Please Raise Some Cash). Dizzee Rascal doing a world cup song? Get Corden on it. Fat wanker. Now, he’s abusing living legend Patrick Stewart. As well as being in a hugely successful TV series, he’s one of our most distinguished stage actors too. And when Stewart was presenting an award at a recent ceremony, Corden started shouting around in the background like the attention seeking blubberball he is. Responding to Stewart’s jibes about his weight, Corden “lifted his t-shirt revealing his tummy”. The very height of wit. Do me a favour, and piss off. I’ve had funnier turds than you.
Will.i.am’s Profound Tweets #1
In the first of a new series, Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas shows how intense and deep he really is (and how hard it is to spell awesome):
I bought this film t’other day (the title means “life out of balance”). I remember it from media studies as having an awesome soundtrack by Philip Glass – better not be shit now:
Another brilliant film sountracked by Glass is The Thin Blue Line, which helped an innocent man get off death row. It’s definately worth a watch if the chance arises.
In other news:
-Big Brother starts tonight for the last time. Let’s see what freaks are in this year!
-I love paella.
-Cheesy, brilliant pop music:
Right, Junior Apprentice with Big Brother to follow. Time to go, crackers.