Mars men

C-c-crazy

6 potential astronauts are being locked in box in a car park in Moscow. Apparently this is going to simulate a mission to Mars, and is primarily an experiment to attempt to determine if the human psyche can withstand the isolation of a 520 day expedition. Now, as you may have already gathered, I’m a bit cynical about this. Yes, you can definitely recreate the solitude of space. But the knowledge that one mistake could kill you and your colleagues? The feeling on day 21, that there is 499 days still to go? The complete, disorienting lack of gravity? They’re pretty unique sensations, exclusive to the confines of space. And, despite the scientists protestations, these pretend spacemen can always say, “трахните это (fuck it)” and walk away. Not something you can do on Soyuz 71.

World Cup

I really can’t wait for the World Cup. As a football fan, it really hits the spot. 4 years of anticipation is expelled in a month of tears, controversy and celebration. I hope that it can help bring some of the impoverished of South Africa into a better, safer standard of living. And I also hope that South African advertising spreads around the world like wildfire:

Peace Flotilla

Protests and protestors generally get on my tits. I want to make my own mind up thank you very much. But Israel do seem to have reacted disproportionately, when they killed 9 protestors, who seemed to have been attacking with sticks and catapults. Like children. I also can’t take Benjamin Netanyahu seriously when he justifies the raid thus: “It wasn’t a love boat, it was a hate boat“. Just hope Mossad aren’t reading this (gulp).

Woof

I like dogs. But whenever I look at one, I think, are you wanting to bite my face off?

Scooby Doo was not happy when Fred took his snacks

Thanks for scoring, now I’ll slap your dick

In other news:

-Today I feel shitty. Fucking hayfever. But I do love M&S food.

-When I get old, I want to be Morgan Freeman.

– Finest Americana:

Right – back, sack and crack time. Adieu!

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